Most couples share comfort, joy and faith, but how many share financial responsibility? One spouse usually takes the lead on financial matters and ignorance is not bliss for the financially inactive spouse. Life changing events, such as death, disability or divorce, can wreck havoc when the financially aware partner is gone.
“Having observed many couples through the years, it’s inevitable that one spouse is more ‘financially attuned’ than the other,” says Jim Waters, founder and president of PartnersInWealth in Houston. “But too often the one ‘who does the finances’ leaves the other in the dark.”
Every February 14, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. Waters suggests that you take care of the ones you love by following these seven steps for financial fitness.
1) Honesty – Be honest as to why one is the more involved, more interested or more knowledgeable when it comes to financial matters. A division of labor based on knowledge, time or passion is reasonable.
2) Respect – Acknowledge questions you have. Ask if there’s anything on the Statement of Net Worth that you don’t understand.
3) Patience – Set aside time to discuss finances. Make sure the less involved spouse could handle the finances for six months or longer. Make it easy for that individual to get involved by opening the mail and paying the bills together. Set aside time to answer any questions.
4) Communication – Share any fears or concerns about this process. Discuss and reinforce your common vision and values. Acknowledge the more involved spouse for their efforts and encourage the less involved spouse to take a more active role in finances. Active participation is the first step to a deeper understanding.
5) Follow through – Mark your calendars and discuss finances regularly. Tie the discussion to something fun.
6) Discretion – Know each other’s tipping points and thresholds. Get to know each other’s financial comfort zones when it comes to investments, income and estate tax reduction, insurance, estate and philanthropic planning, and asset protection.
7) Flexibility – Be open to change and be willing to learn. Throw judgment out the door and help find solutions that make sense to both of you. “You go to dinner together. You go on vacations together. Why don’t you manage your personal finances together?” Waters says. “This will build money compatibility for you and your spouse. You can have a better relationship and understanding with each other.”
Finances are the main cause of disagreements between couples. It pays to learn to spend wisely, establish security and align money with values.